Question: What’s Russian humor like?

We all know English spelling is ridiculous. I mean, how you get the sound “Farve” out of the name “Favre” is unfathomable. Why is ‘Kansas’ pronounced “can-zas” but ‘Arkansas’ is pronounced “ar-can-saw”?? Anyway, Russians have a joke about our bizarre spelling rules:

If it’s spelled “Manchester” it’s pronounced “Liverpool”.

Here are a few more jokes I translated from the newspaper. They’re typical of Russian humor.

– – – – – – –

A dentist is telling his patient, “Try to relax, ok? I’m just going to give you a little local anesthetic.”

“Are you kidding?” the patient asks. “For the money I’m paying you, I expect imported.”

– – – – – – – –

A policeman stops a car and says to the driver, “You have to pay a fine!”

“But why, officer?” protests the driver. “What did I do wrong?”

The officer replies: “And why do you think my children should wait until you do something wrong?”

– – – – – – – –

A restaurant patron tells the waitress, “I’m so hungry, I could eat a dead rat!”

“Then you’ve come to the right place, sir!”

– – – – – – – –

If you have more examples of Russian humour you’d like to share, feel free to submit via our Contact Page